Here’s a funny customer letter! We got this a couple of years ago and posted it on our blog, much to our customer’s delight. A cute story, well written and deserves to be published again! Enjoy!
TO: Duncraft Designers
FROM: The Twin Lakes Squirrel Special Forces Team
DATE: March 18, 2007
Well, we saw The Lady (the human who lives in Salisbury, CT) opening up the package you sent her enclosing a new knob for the Duncraft platform feeder she hangs outside every morning.
It took us nearly three years to figure out how to get at the birdseed in that particular feeder. The Lady really thought she had a truly squirrel-proof feeder, and acted like a smarty pants every time she hung it out. That is, until a few weeks ago. We fixed her little red wagon. You should have seen her face when she saw that we had gotten into the birdseed! Man, was she disgusted! Oh, the language—it was awful!
We hate to admit it, but your platform feeder was a doozy. We tried every tactic over and over again, but all failed. We held weekly committee meetings in the woods, scheming for the day we would conquer the feeder. Then, this newcomer, a feisty little red squirrel said, “It’s that damn knob doing us in. We have to chew it off, you big dopes.”
And that’s what we did. When The Lady saw the first chew marks on the knob, she painted it with Frank’s Red Hot Sauce. And then she waited and watched. Heck, we just thought it tasted like Mexican food.
Well, it was nice of you to send The Lady a new plastic knob. It will be fun chewing through that one too. I heard The Lady tell her husband that Duncraft ought to make the knobs in metal. But we hope you won’t do that.
Well—have to sign off. The Lady just hung out her six birdfeeders. Got to get busy. See ya!
General of the Twin Lakes,
Squirrel Special Forces Team